Before I met you, I thought I lived a passionate life
But I didn’t
Before I knew you, I thought I felt inspiration
But I didn’t
Before I trusted you, I never thought I could fall in love
Never believed that my heart could soar in the mere presence of your soul,
Never imagined a life shared
But I did or rather I do,
But you know nothing of my feelings.
Before You, when someone would ask me about my ideal partner
I couldn’t answer.
Sometimes I would rattle off a list of unreasonable “deal-brakers”
Other times I would describe a rugged cowboy, a hipster intellectual, or your average all-American all-star and a romantic life spent traveling and living abroad or settling in the vast open farm lands of Wyoming–a ranch, I insisted, was at the center of my desires.
But it was all for show, the truth was that I didn’t know.
I didn’t know I wanted warm compassionate eyes.
I didn’t know I wanted a tender heart and a caring friend.
I didn’t know I needed a good communicator.
I didn’t know I needed a teacher.
I didn’t know I needed you.
But I did, or rather I do, but you do not know.
Should you know that my heart found in you everything it never knew it always wanted?
Should you know that whenever we’re together, if feels like coming home?
Should you know that every action I’ve taken, every decision I’ve made since we’ve met was in hope of making you proud?
Yes, I want you to be proud of me.
I want you to speak my name with the same admiration that I speak yours–sometime more.
I want you to command the sincere respect of your friends the way you do mine.
I long to be loved by your family.
I know mine will adore you as you are.
They will probably thank you for taking a chance on me.
For seeing past the hard exterior and patiently chipping away at the stone fortress that stands resolutely around my delicate heart.
What they won’t know, is that it was all by accident.
It was never your intention to seek the trust of my heart,
Only the strength of my friendship.
In was never your intention to inspire and motivate my soul
Only to offer kindness.
It was never your intention to kiss my skin with the warmth of your humor
Only to instigate a subtle laugh,
But you did, and didn’t know.